Building Stronger Connections: Meet Rebecca Butler, Couples Therapist & Mental Health Social Worker at The Base Health
- admin91478
- Apr 22
- 5 min read
At The Base Health, Rebecca Butler brings over 20 years of experience in social work and counselling, specialising in couples therapy and relationship dynamics. As a certified Imago Couple Therapist, Rebecca is passionate about helping couples navigate challenges, strengthen their connection, and improve communication.
Beyond couples therapy, she also works with individuals facing separation, parenting challenges, anxiety, depression, trauma, PTSD, and blended family adjustments. Her non-judgmental, strengths-based approach ensures that every client feels supported and empowered in their journey.
In this blog, we dive into Rebecca’s insights on building healthy relationships, overcoming communication struggles, and how therapy can transform not just a couple’s connection but the well-being of an entire family.
What inspired you to specialize in couples therapy, and what drew you to the Imago approach?
The couple relationship has the potential to be either our greatest source of pain or joy. So, there’s this potential within the couple relationship to be a place of safety, growth, healing and joy. I love empowering couples to step into this possibility together. It’s a real privilege to support couples in this way.
What drew me to the Imago approach is that at its heart is the Imago Dialogue. This is a structured way of being able to talk about tricky issues that creates safety and makes it possible for couples to find connection where there are differences. Imago theory also brings together attachment theory, developmental theory and the science of the brain and the nervous system. So it has a big theory underpinning it that holds the keys to help us make sense of the relationships we’re in and why we may be triggered in different ways and provides a pathway forward.
What are some common challenges couples face that lead them to seek therapy?
The biggest one is a breakdown in communication. This runs deep as it leads to a breakdown in connection, and people feeling insecure, anxious and resentful in their relationships.
There are many other challenges that couples face that may be underlying this breakdown such as: a loss of trust, affairs, feeling stuck in difficult and/or escalating communication patterns, managing life’s transitions particularly that into parenthood and retirement, new relationships, blended families, physical and emotional intimacy difficulties, grief, conflict over parenting, burnout caused by life balance challenges when raising young children, childhood trauma triggers, mental health issues impacting the relationship and I’m sure there are more.
How does improving a couple’s connection benefit the entire family unit?
Children are like sponges and they absorb the emotional temperature and any tension or conflict between their parents. As the couple relationship improves parents start to feel happier, and they are then more emotionally available for their children and this relationship is then strengthened. The communication skills that couples have learned are also transferable to their relationship with their children. This relationship is the biggest
protective factor for children as they navigate growing up. Parents are also role modelling a healthy relationship which lays the blueprint for their children’s own adult relationships.
For individuals going through separation or divorce, what are some ways they can navigate this transition in a healthy way?
Separation is a challenging time for everyone in the family. It’s important for parents to separate their experience from their child’s experience. It’s imperative to protect kids from the conflict and to never denigrate or talk negatively about the other parent in front of them. The greatest gift parents can give their children when they are separating is to continue to support their relationship with the other parent, if it is safe to do so, and provide reassurance that they will both continue to love them and be there for them and that it isn’t their fault.
For parents it’s about making the transition from being partners to co-parents and building a respectful parenting relationship in which they can both work together for the good of their children. it’s also important that parents get their own support whether that’s counselling and/or friends and family and look after themselves. Seeking mediation to work out property and parenting plans is also important.
How do you support clients dealing with complex issues like trauma, domestic violence, or workplace challenges?
That’s a big question. Firstly, it’s important that people feel welcomed, safe and respected in the counselling space and conduct a thorough assessment so I can understand the complexity of the situation they are experiencing. I then focus on the goals that are important for the client but always prioritise safety. I have worked a lot in the DV space, and I am trauma informed and do a lot of parts work as well as use trauma processing models, emotion regulation, psychoeducation, relational work, self-esteem, strengths and values work.
What are some key communication tools that can help couples build a stronger relationship?
I have a lot of these!
Be aware of your own reactivity and be curious about this. Avoid blaming and own your contribution. Respond rather than react.
Take a timeout if you are having trouble managing your reactivity, come back to the conversation when you are calmer.
Share appreciations. Make a conscious decision each day to tell your partner something you appreciate about them
Be curious about your partners world, ask them about their day, check in regularly
When your partner is talking be conscious of how you are listening. Be present with eye contact and body language, listen with curiosity, try mirroring to check that you have heard them well and understood what they are saying before responding
Show empathy and acknowledge your partners thoughts and feelings even if they are different to yours.
How can blended families create a sense of unity and navigate challenges successfully?
For those couples with children from a previous relationship there are some unique challenges that they face which can be tricky for a new relationship. There are big adjustments for children and parents as they get to know each other and work out how to live together. It’s important to take it slow and expect that there will be bumps in the road and it will take time for everyone to adjust. Good communication, lots of patience and being kind to yourself and others are key. It’s also important to make time to nurture the couple relationship and stay connected as you navigate it all.
What advice would you give to someone considering couples therapy but feeling hesitant about taking that first step?
If someone is considering couple therapy, they have probably been needing it for quite a while. Research says that people can wait 6years before taking the step. So, I encourage to take the step before it’s too late.
Being in a relationship is one of the hardest things we will ever do and for which we have little or no preparation. I think all couples would benefit from couple therapy or a couple workshop to learn the skills and nurture their relationship.
Couple therapy is also about personal growth so going with an open mind and willingness to reflect on your contribution will help you get the most out of it. I recommend that you see someone who is trained as a couple therapist. If you’re feeling unsure reach out and speak with them before booking.ase Community. Here's to an inspiring, connected, and meaningful 2025!
